Glendale, CA

As the freight recession churns on and continues to thin the ranks of an overcrowded carrier pool, an unlikely victim has been added to the body count this week as notoriously renowned double-brokerage outfit Tasty Transport (TT) has shuttered its virtual doors. “We’ve dragged our MC number through hell. After 40-odd FreightGuard reports for back-soliciting customers, loads held hostage, and double—sometimes triple—brokering freight, I’d say the writing was on the wall for us and, sadly, it was time to face the facts and declare moral bankruptcy,” commented TT rep Bobby Franco while kicking a stray dog in its face.
Despite the carrier’s intention to be honest and true upon its inception, its degradation into a device used solely for plundering was affirmed after achieving a 78,000% profit margin on its maiden voyage into double brokering. “Some brokerage models are based on making $100 on a $3,000 investment. We asked, why not just keep the whole three G’s?” noted TT accountant Filip Hanks while pulling the wings off a moth. “Aside from the carrier being defrauded of payment, it’s essentially a victimless crime,” added Hanks.
“2021 to 2024 were banner years for us,” commented TT dispatcher Sal Cruise while freebasing crystal meth off a rusty door hinge. “You could sing any desperate shipper or broker a song and they’d believe it, provided you sounded halfway legitimate. In the brokerage world, a new sucker is born every minute. But I knew the good times couldn’t last forever. That’s why I invested so heavily in my side hustle of lotto scratchers and virtual horse racing.”
Amid a cacophony of background chatter from virtual thieves on countless outbound calls attempting to solicit loads from unsuspecting brokers, one could easily assume that business was thriving—but that is not the case. Profits are down 98% year over year, and the only thing keeping the lights on is a power cord unsuspectingly siphoning electricity from Dollar General’s break room. “I’ve got standards as well, you know,” proclaimed Franco while openly perusing multiple websites of hardcore pornography. “Even though I have no overhead or time spent behind the wheel, I’m still not booking any loads down to Southern Florida for under two bucks a mile. I mean, who would do a thing like that?”
Despite their inevitable collapse, for many double brokers like Tasty Transport, the end of the road simply means a new journey into the erosion of morality. “The beauty of this business model is we can say a few Hail Marys as repentance and fire up a new brokerage on the wings of a recycled MC number,” noted Cruise. “And just as soon as I submit the renter’s insurance claim and firebomb this office, that’s just what I’m gonna do.”